You know, I did not think that by any stretch of the imagination (especially with just a so-so cycle and everyone telling me, "Well, it only takes one!") that I'd get pregnant with Matthew. Our first try. No way. Not after nearly 11 years. So I didn't find any reason, whatsoever, to bother with a home pregnancy test. Why waste the money?
Well, I sure as heck spent the money after I got that blood test! I had waited too long NOT to see "PREGNANT" on that stick. (I know a few of you even remember that was my header for a long, long time!)
After Matthew died, and we did the frozen transfer, I DID take a test. The morning of my beta. I just didn't look at it. (Seriously. I covered the window part before I did it and didn't look at it again.) I just knew that if I already knew it was negative, I'd have NO motivation to drive to Annapolis and take the beta. I had to wait until nearly 4:00 with Matthew's results and I did NOT want to do that again, so I had the test ready for me as soon as I got home.
Of course, I didn't need it. Jackie called me before I even got halfway through the ride home with the bad news.
I didn't test with Luke, either. I DID take a test to see if the HCG was out of my system, and it was. I was *thisclose* to taking one. Seriously...I had one and was planning on taking it about two mornings before my beta. That night, I could NOT get the song lyrics, "Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord...we will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord," out of my head. Literally. All night, just rattled through.
Now, I have no idea of what that was supposed to mean. What waiting on the Lord I was supposed to be doing (as opposed to waiting for a beta blood test), but I figured the key parts were the instructions to "WAIT!" and I did.
And obviously, was not disappointed.
I have taken two tests to ensure that the HCG was out of my system this time. It is. I figured it would be since it was only a half trigger for the OHSS risks, and so I KNOW that if I took one now, and it was positive, I could trust it.
Yes, biting my nails.
But John wants me to wait, so I will. Not sure why, other than he doesn't want it to be negative and me by myself? Whatever it is...I'm waiting.
Excruciating. Mainly because as I've said before, the progesterone and estrogen of course make my body FEEL pregnant. Not to mention, the OHSS symptomology is getting worse. I'm really trying to take it as easy as one can with a busy little boy, but definitely feeling some of those old feelings that remind me of when I was hospitalized with OHSS several years ago. Not to that extreme, yet...still mild, but uncomfortable. More increasingly so. Which of course sets my mind spinning. "Is it getting worse because I'm pregnant?" (Because that's what typically happens, ironically. Pregnancy, the desired result, makes it worse!)
Don't know, but increasing the efforts to 'take it easy.' Like I said, as much as I can with Lukey-Luke on the go!
And man...is he on the go! But so, so, so much fun. He is such a little character! Such personality.
I don't know where he gets it.
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